Monday, September 28, 2009

Abandonement of Self

Lately in my spiritual journey I have had the challenge of abandonment of self pop up quit a bit, to the point (as dumb as I may be) that I think God is trying to tell me something. I really do have a desire to follow Christ and see Him very evident in my life and around me, but it is so easy to get caught up in other things such as business, laziness, entertainment, work, family, struggles, discouragements... the list goes on. What it comes down to for me most of the time is my unwillingness to let go of control, or to let go of myself completely.

Today I read Oswald Chambers' my utmost for his highest. There it was again:


"One thing thou lackest: . . come, take up the cross, and follow Me." Mark 10:21

The rich young ruler had the master passion to be perfect. When he saw Jesus Christ, he wanted to be like Him. Our Lord never puts personal holiness to the fore when He calls a disciple; He puts absolute annihilation of my right to myself and identification with Himself - a relationship with Himself in which there is no other relationship. Luke 14:26 has nothing to do with salvation or sanctification, but with unconditional identification with Jesus Christ. Very few of us know the absolute "go" of abandonment to Jesus.

"Then Jesus beholding him loved him." The look of Jesus will mean a heart broken for ever from allegiance to any other person or thing. Has Jesus ever looked at you? The look of Jesus transforms and transfixes. Where you are "soft" with God is where the Lord has looked at you. If you are hard and vindictive, insistent on your own way, certain that the other person is more likely to be in the wrong than you are, it is an indication that there are whole tracts of your nature that have never been transformed by His gaze.

"One thing thou lackest . . ." The only "good thing" from Jesus Christ's point of view is union with Himself and nothing in between.

"Sell whatsoever thou hast . ." I must reduce myself until I am a mere conscious man, I must fundamentally renounce possessions of all kinds, not to save my soul (only one thing saves a man - absolute reliance upon Jesus Christ) - but in order to follow Jesus. "Come, and follow Me." And the road is the way He went.

I want to experience that look from Jesus to the point that nothing else matters. His gaze says I love you enough to demand from you that all these things that keep you from me are completely obliterated and gone. That's not legalism! That is love!!! I do know that God is calling me to reckless and complete abandonment of self, my hopes and prayers that my mind, will and strength will remember his look of love and transformation rather than looking for areas of comfort and apathy.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Inspired by LosWit today

Was inspired by Carlos Whittaker today (

September 25th, 2009, Category : Deep Stuff, (45)

“My wife and I have thought about adopting for a while.”
“I’ve always wanted to write a book.”
“I think I might ask her out.”
“Yea, next time I go to a show I’ll sponsor a Compassion child.”
“You know, I’m gonna finally tell my boss to chill out and treat us with respect.”
“Dude! The church I’m planting is going to feed the homeless every Saturday morning.”
“That’s it. I’m seriously going to drop everything and become a photographer.”

These are just a few of the lines I remember from conversations I have been part of or overheard (yes, I’m a stalker) the past few weeks.
Dreams are fuel.
They fuel us to victory.
But most of the time they stay just that.
I lived most of my life “about” to do something.
Then one day Heather and I decided to stop living almost and start living all out.
Since that decision we have adopted our son Losiah, climbed the highest peak in North America, Jumped out of airplanes, been on a reality show, moved across the country, quit my job, signed a record deal, traveled to Uganda, co lived with 3 families, and so much more.
I honestly don’t share that to brag.
It might sound miserable to most of you.
We have had our share of suck.
If you read our blogs you know.
But we also realized that the American dream of white picket fences and a 9-5 isn’t our shtick.
And here is the harder truth.
It isn’t a lot of yours either.
You are living in the myth that stability = simply and safely existing.

Those statements up top usually end a few months later with financial, lack of time, fear, and man power excuses.
Here’s the truth.
There will NEVER be enough money, time, or help.
Heather and I spend at least one night a week looking at the checking account and crying then laughing then crying.
I could get a job at a church and play it safe.
That would not be a bad decision.
It would be a great decision.
It just would not be the RIGHT decision, right now.
Because right now God has called me to pour into the global church and when that season is over, it would be a blessing to work in the local church again.
Just not now.
And so we pray, fast, hustle, laugh, and cry.
And inside all of that, we live.

I’m willing to bet a lot of you are ready for an adventure.
So what is it?
What are you going to do this week to take that one step away from safety and towards calling?

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Words we Say

Lately I have been thinking about living intentionally. Much of what we (I) say, don't say, do, don't do, think, ignore, feel, reject, is based on reaction or trained response.

I am getting stirred to "Live on Purpose" again. Not wanting to do things just because that is what I am supposed to, or expected to do... but rather:

Because of Who Jesus is and what he has done in me and for me. I desire to become like Peter and John in the book of Acts when they are told to quit speaking the name of Jesus. Their Response: We cannot help help but do this! It became who they were and who they are. Are am sure they were reminded of Jesus' talk with them about this very situation in Matthew 10 19But when they arrest you, do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, 20for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.

I was inspired by this poem about the words we say.

Typography from Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.

Who's authority are you speaking from?...

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Proofreading before hitting send.

I am notorious for sending nonsensical texts and posts because I don't take the time to proofread what I have written in texts and post. I had a really embarrassing one that I can't repeat that came out entirely wrong because I left out one word. This is a good reminder to me in how I live my life. I serve an amazing Savior who left the glories of heaven and suffered unthinkable torture and death for me- the least I could do is to look at my life, how I'm living, acting, thinking, doing, talking, working etc. etc. in a way that honors the sacrifice he made for me and shows the life he gives. I am not talking about guilting myself to the point I become a legalist, but rather living intentionally a way that simply shows I care enough to analyze my life and see if I am making errors that would embarrass him, not out of guilt but out of passionate love for my savior.

Lord I want to be like David and ask "is there anything in my heart that would keep me from knowing God and making him known to people around me."

I proofread this and realize that it is not grammatically correct but gets my point across. have an a amazing day.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009


More dental work today. Not too excited about that. I am learning a lesson through this however; that being the importance of not leaving things undone or unattended to. I was seeing a dentist for the last 6 years who always said, "looks like I'm not going to make any money off of you today.". Turns out he should have been making money of of me. I go to a new dentist and guess what 6 different dental procedures necessary. I should have known something was wrong when my cleaning only lasted 4 minutes.
Anyway, I was thinking about my life, in all areas (spiritual, financial, relational, etc.) and I could apply the principle of proactive action and preemptive intentionality in all these areas. Proverbs is filled with wisdom on this. I am reminded today of my need to not let life play me, but to let Gods spirit and strength guide me to live above the norm and to not let things fester until they cause me problems.
Off to to the dentist I go.