Going to Church?

That is a question I usually don't get asked? being a pastor for almost seventeen years it just becomes a given. This morning I actually am asking that question, there is no childcare and I have kids which makes an interesting conundrum, do I just leave my wife and expect her to watch them all day even though she has to work tonight, or do I take this opportunity to just hang out with my family.
but oh the guilt, not going to church on a Sunday... isn't that like blasphemy? I then begin to take it a little deeper, if I weren't a pastor how often would I go to church.
There all kinds of directions I could go with this. The church is not a building its the people, but what about being accountable.. the list goes on. I went through a stage of being disillusioned with the church after working for some pastors who could care less for the people and were constantly thinking about the next building program and how to get that next influx of people (and actually jumped for joy when the church down the street had a split.) After quitting my job as a pastor a few years ago, taking a several month hiatus from church I began to realize that if I despised the church I was despising myself and more importantly Jesus Christ himself. The church will always be imperfect as long as there are people in it. I am learning to have a new love for the church and its people, and instead of pointing out imperfections, (which I am pretty good at) I need to begin to work on the imperfections I have in my own life. And then try to do my part at making the beautiful body of Christ what it is intended to be.
So back to my question- am I going to church? I am going to make a compromise, I am going to go to the first service and then come back and take the kids, instead of sticking around trying to be pastorly today. I will try hard to choke back the guilt ;)